A Few of My Favorite Things...

...that Marlee is doing right now.

• "Whodat?": Marlee's favorite question to ask. She points to anyone, including people she knows and asks " Whodat?". When she is really excited she asks, "Whodat, Whodat, Whodat, Whodat?" as quickly as she can possibly say it!
• "Mar turn": When Marlee wants to do something, she boldly announces that it is "Mar's turn." This is something she has learned at school because they strongly encourage them to say something (rather than just yelling out or motioning) when they want to have their turn. My favorite part is that she now refers to herself as "Mar turn" whenever we point to her picture or ask who she is. She thinks it is her name! 
• "Wa": She calls her friend, Olivia, "Wa." We have no idea why, but we crack up every time she says it. Her teacher, Ms. Abby, says another classmate has now started calling Olivia, "Wa Wa." Marlee has started a bad trend! Just this weekend we have noticed her trying to say "Olivia" and it makes me kind of sad. I will miss "Wa!"
• Speaking of "Wa": "Wa" is also her word for walk. She has a Charlie Brown doll that her friend Annie Kate gave her for her 1st birthday. Since watching "The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", Charlie has become her best friend. While walking through a parking lot this weekend, she put Charlie down next to her and said, "Wa." She put him down on his feet several times hoping he would walk along beside her. He of course fell right over. She then leaned over to help him walk but must have decided that was too much trouble. She picked him up and carried him the rest of the way!
• "Mo": Marlee has developed very strong opinions and quickly replies "Mo" (No) while shaking her head back and forth when she does not want to do something. 
• Carpet time: Marlee had a bit of a difficult time adjusting to carpet time at school. It was, of course, very hard to sit on a piece of carpet and focus for a period of time when she would much rather be up and playing. She did, however, decide that she enjoyed sitting on Ms. Abby's lap during that time. Apparently, Ms. Abby's lap was a much more comfortable spot than her carpet square. One day Ms. Abby told Marlee that she did not have a choice, and she had to sit on her carpet square. Marlee marched right over to the carpet square, picked it up, put it in Ms. Abby's lap, and plopped herself right down on that carpet square...in Ms. Abby's lap :). She technically did follow directions!
• Letters: Marlee is a little obsessed with the alphabet. She loves letters! She especially loves recognizing the first letters in her friend's name. Everyday we have to write down letters and she tells us her friends' names. M is of course "Mar turn." and "Mama". J is "Jacob". L for "Lou" (Lewis). O for "Wa" (Olivia). K for "Ki" (Keith). A for "Akky" (Abby). S for "Sue". H for "Hu" (Hunt). G for "Dada" (Greg) and "G" (Gran). Anytime and anywhere she sees these letters, she excitedly says the name that goes along with the letter! She may be a little confused when she learns that A is actually the letter A and not Abby :). 
• "Gagy": She loves her babies!! They go with her everywhere and she sleeps with one each night. She loves any type of pretend play with her dolls.
• Colors: Marlee loves to color and to tell us what color everything is. She even points to cars as they drive by and tells us what color they are. If she is playing with a certain color toy and someone has that color on their clothes, she puts the toy next to the clothes and matches and names the colors.
• "Row Row": Like all two year olds, she loves the iPad. Her favorite thing to do is watch nursery rhymes. When she wants to watch, she comes up to us saying, "row, row," quite persistently! Meaning, of course that she wants to watch "Row, row. row your boat." The funniest part as that she does the rowing motion with her arms as she is making her request known! If that does not work, she begins moving her arms in a circular motion indicating that she would like to watch "Wheels on the Bus."
• "Knock, Knock": Door, container, it doesn't matter...if it can be opened, Marlee knocks on it. She started by knocking and saying "Mock, Mock." then she added "Mock, Mock, Oten." Now it is an almost perfect sounding, "Knock, knock. Open Door!" (even if it's not a door) :).

This pictures was taken the weekend before Thanksgiving one year ago. It was Marlee's first time on a carousel. Look at what a little baby she was!!! I saw this last night and knew I had to write down some of my favorite "Marlee" things right NOW. It goes too fast, and I'm afraid I will forget so much. Oh, how much she has learned in just one year! Two is such a fun stage, as I'm sure all of her stages will be, but it would be ok for time to slow down a bit!

Eating pancakes last Saturday morning with her friend, Charlie, right by her side. He and/or her babies joins us for most meals these days :).

My Favorite View

She may think I leave her at school everyday, but my very best days are when I am right there with her - watching from the observation room. My favorite place is right with you, sweet girl!

Happy Hearing Day!

Tomorrow, we will celebrate Marlee's 1st hearing birthday. This time last year, I was filled with excitement and anxiety as we anticipated the long awaited day! I was unsure of what the day as well as Marlee's life after that day would hold. One thing, though, I did know. October 28th, the day the cochlear implants would be turned on, would be Marlee's miracle day.

It was not long until I realized that the miracle did not end on that day. One year later, I can say that I have witnessed miracles each day since. It is difficult to explain the excitement I feel with every new milestone in Marlee's life. From helping her learn to walk, to watching her respond to noise, to hearing her singing in the back seat of the car. My heart leaps with joy over every accomplishment. No small noise she makes or word she says is taken for granted. I can say with confidence that Marlee is able to do these things because of the Lord's work in her life. Without her miracle of hearing, these things would not be possible.

Some days I watch her in school and think, this just isn't fair. Why is my baby having to work so very hard just to learn to listen and talk? Such an easy task for so many, but for Marlee, it is work. I then pray that the hard work will always remind Marlee that her accomplishments are only a result of the Lord's strength and power working in her life. This is true for all of us, but is so easy to forget. I pray that Marlee will always remember and celebrate her miracle day. Not just to celebrate the miracle but to give thanks to the Giver of those miracles.

This morning in church, the pastor said that "God works in miraculous signs and wonders to get people's attention, so they can respond to the truths of the Word of God." I pray that others will see the truths of God's Word through the miracle He has done and is doing in Marlee's life. This is why I can never stop thanking Him or telling others what He has done. It will never become ordinary that my daughter can hear and speak.

"I remember it all, oh how well I remember, the feeling of hitting the bottom...but this I call to mind and have hope...His mercies are new every morning." Lamentations 3

It is through His mercies that He has brought us to this place. I pray for fresh works and continued miracles in Marlee's life that keep our attention on Him and bring glory to Him alone.

Happy 1st hearing birthday, Marlee! What joy you bring to our lives. May you always see your gift of hearing through cochlear implants, not as a hindrance, but as a blessing from The Lord given to you to bring Him honor through your life. 

Oh, how He loves you!!

Marlee's First Day of School

So much has happened since my last blog post before Marlee's first day of school. Our anticipation of that dreaded day continued this summer until the morning of August 12th when I was sure I had no more tears to cry and was as ready as I could be to take Marlee to MOSD. Greg took the day off of work, so we could spend the day in Germantown (as close to Marlee as we could be) together. The best part of the day for me was dressing Marlee in her new school dress and taking pictures.

Marlee the elephant :)

We arrived at MOSD and met Marlee's teacher, Ms. Abby. We stayed in the classroom for a few minutes until Marlee seemed comfortable.

Marlee with her teacher, Ms. Abby.

Right away she found an elephant book that she loved!

When we left her classroom, we slipped into the observation room where we stayed and watched until 10:30 that morning. Marlee did not cry too much the first day, she was just unsure of everything that was going on. We watched as Ms. Abby showed Marlee her cubby and they did a few activities, and then as Ms. Katie came to get her for her first therapy session.

My brave girl walking down the hall to speech therapy with Ms. Katie. 

One of my favorite things about MOSD is that parents are encouraged to stay and observe as much as possible. Observing has given me great insight into what Marlee is doing at school, so I can reinforce the learning at home. Plus, I can not even explain how much fun it is to be a "fly on the wall,"and watch all she does at school!

Marlee did get upset at snack time on that first day because they combined classes and went to Ms. Sue's room next door to eat. It was hard to watch her upset, but soon the Oreos on the school bus snack seemed to make it all better.

Then they went back to Ms. Abby's room to make a school bus craft. 

We watched Marlee in her 2nd therapy session and then left before they went to recess. It was a long day of waiting to go back and pick up my girl. 

The first day was an overall success, but it was a terrible night knowing I had to take my baby back the next day. The thought of my days at home with Marlee suddenly coming to an end was overwhelming. I was desperate for her to be home with me the next morning watching Sesame Street. I also knew the second day would not go as smoothly as the first because Marlee would know what was coming, and I was right. 

She pretty quickly attached to Ms. Abby, but transition times when she had to leave Ms. Abby to go to her therapy sessions were very difficult. There were days when she cried the first hour. Days where she cried through both therapy sessions. Days where she cried through recess. And days where she was teary all day. I stayed and observed as much as possible, and always stayed in Germantown. I did not want to come home to my empty house, and I wanted to be near her. The only way to describe the first three weeks is HARD! 

This is not what I signed up for. My plan as a stay at home mom did not include getting up and driving 45 minutes in rush hour traffic to take my not yet two year old to school every day, observing her in her classroom where she is sometimes happy and sometimes crying, filling my afternoon with errands to stay busy (on the days I'm not working), picking her up, driving back home, unpacking her bag, making her lunch, and doing it all again the next day. 

THIS is real life. This is certainly not my fairy tale of staying home with my baby girl until she is school age. This is overwhelming. This is exhausting.

This is also necessary. I could pull her out of school, have a therapist come to our house once a week, and hope for the best (believe me, I have thought about doing that), but that is not what Marlee needs. Marlee has a disability that does not even have to be a disability after she graduates from MOSD. Marlee needs this school. She needs this school 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. She needs her teachers. She needs her therapists. She needs me to make every sacrifice I can possibly make to ensure she is fully equipped for the rest of her life. 

Sending Marlee to school has been the most difficult part of this journey. Through all of the doctors' visits, bad reports, and a first year of so many uncertainties, Marlee was always right there with me. Everything was going to be ok because I still had my Marlee beside me. This time is different. This time, I have to let her go because being right beside me is not what is best for her. The Lord reminds me that she is not mine to hold on to, she is His. This may not be easy, but this is His plan for Marlee's life. It is His best plan for her life, and He is teaching me to trust Him.

When I Leave

I am a school person. I love everything about it and always have. As a student I loved my teachers, my friends, school supplies, reading, learning, and (don't tell anyone) but I didn't always dread studying. As a teacher I loved my students, textbooks, setting up a classroom, planning activities, and so much more.

My first day of 1st grade

I should be thrilled that my little girl is about to enter the wonderful world of school, but I'm not. I'm not ready. You see, sending Marlee to school means she won't be with me. Today, I saw every expression and heard every sound she made. I know everything she ate and drank. I could tell you every toy she played with and each book she read. Soon, I won't be able to tell you those things, because on Monday through Friday from 8:15 to 3:00 she won't be with me.

I know she will be in a wonderful place with teachers who will love and take care of her. In fact, she will be exactly where she needs to be. It is just hard to accept that where she needs to be is not with me.

This was the first day of school last year. The best part - Marlee wasn't going to school, she was staying home with me!                 

     

                                                          

I don't want Marlee to be in school before her second birthday when she should still be learning by playing. She should be at home with me, in the kitchen, on walks, in the car, in the grocery store. 

It should be just the way it is now, not for forever, but for longer than this. I need more time to be with my girl. After this, there is no going back. She will be at MOSD until kindergarten and then in school through college. The 5 years I thought I would have at home with her, at least on most days, would have been short enough. I feel like that precious time is being snatched away. 

Please don't for a second think I feel sorry for myself. I have been blessed to stay home with my healthy, active, growing little girl for the past 21 months. Many moms never have that opportunity. I enjoy every moment and have never wished it away or taken it for granted. Also, I know there are families who move to other states just to put their child in a school like MOSD, yet we are within driving distance. Not to mention that years ago, parents sent their deaf children away to boarding school. Oh, there are many blessings. Marlee will be exposed to much more at Memphis Oral School than I could ever teach her at home. She will make friends and most importantly, establish a foundation in language that will set the course of her life. The truth is, I would be heartbroken if a school like this did not exist. 

It is just that this summer has seemed like a countdown to one the happiest seasons of my life coming to an end. So often after a fun summer day, I have cried myself to sleep because we are one day closer. I don't doubt the Lord's sovereignty in all of this. Just as His best plan for Marlee's life has included the loss of her hearing, this school, is also part of that plan. MOSD has been and will continue to be one of His greatest blessings in our lives.

I know this truth and will trust that although my plan for my time with Marlee looked much different, I am simply not the one in control. He has been faithful and more than good in every step of this journey even when I, as I do now, desperately wished things were different. He will continue to show Himself good and faithful because that is who He is. 

So from now until August, the school lover in me will read Marlee books about school, pick out sweet back to school outfits (you can't have too many of those, right?), and think about what I will send her for lunch. I will pray for Marlee's transition to school, and pray that I will trust The Lord enough to send her each day with a thankful spirit rather than selfishly wishing I could keep her home with me.

Then on August 12th, I will carry Marlee into her classroom, pry her from my arms, and leave. I'm not sure how I will do it, but as I was reminded in a song I heard recently, I will not leave her alone. When I leave the room, I will leave Jesus with Marlee...and His arms are much safer than mine.

Marlee Goes to the Library

I loved trips to the library when I was a growing up and have dreamed of, some day, taking my little girl. I first took Marlee a few months ago, and while she had a blast, all I did was follow her around picking books off of the floor after she cleared the shelves! She LOVES to sit and read at home, but on that day there were too many distractions to sit still for a even a minute! 

Today, we tried it again! This time I took my mom for reinforcement, and we went during story time for a little structure. It was everything I've dreamed since first watching Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) read to the children during story time in her bookstore, "Shop Around the Corner" in my favorite movie, "You've Got Mail." Maybe not quite as charming as being in a quaint book shop in New York City's upper west side, but for now, a back room in the Olive Branch library will have to do!

It was the first time I've ever watched Marlee really participate in planned activities, and it felt like a preview of how she will do in preschool this fall - a topic that can easily bring me to tears! Watching her sitting on the carpet listening, standing up dancing to the music, and concentrating while coloring a picture of a puppy was a sweet little reminder from The Lord that she really will love school.

Although, I admit, rather than leaving her with a teacher at school, I would prefer to be the one sitting right behind her as I was today. There so she can come to me when she is feeling nervous or just can't sit still anymore. I'm afraid I may be the mom at MOSD that the teachers can't convince to leave and go home. Sadly I will have to leave, but I will go knowing she is in the best hands...even though I wish they could be mine.  

And who knows? Maybe they will let me come and read a book for story time!

Here are some pictures from our fun day!

We even met a little boy with cochlear implants and already attending MOSD. Small world?!

Dibble Dibble Dibble Dop

...that's the sound, in Marlee's favorite book, "Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?," that Dr. Seuss says rain makes as it drip drops to the ground. Running bath water, on the other hand, makes a much louder sound. A sound Marlee just heard for the first time last week!

We take Marlee's implants off before bathtime because they cannot get wet. She sees the water running (and loves it) but doesn't hear it. We did not realize she had never heard the water until she stood by the bathtub with her implants on last week. When Greg turned the water on, her eyes became as big as saucers, and she quickly backed away. She was nervous until we showed her what the noise was and let her feel the water.

The next night, when Greg started her bath water, I was playing with Marlee in her room. Through her bedroom wall she heard the water come on and, again, startled. She gave me a puzzled look and immediately pointed to her ear - telling me that she wanted to know what was making the sound. I took her to the bathtub so she could see it was the same noise she heard the night before.

I hope I always remember the, usually apprehensive, look on Marlee's face when she hears something new. I love watching her make connections as she intently points to her ear. Watching her discover sounds will never cease to amaze me. I pray Marlee will never take her gift of hearing for granted - I sure don't!

                      Splish Splash!!

18 Month Update

I don't know how it happened so quickly, but it did! Today, I have an 18 month old baby who seems more like a toddler every day!

Marlee's latest stats:

She is 25 lbs., 31 inches.
Wears 18-24 month clothes and size 5 shoes.
Began walking at 17 months and has not looked back!
Recently decided to feed herself cheerios in the morning all by herself with a spoon!

Has some sweet curls :)

Marlee's favorites:

Sesame Street

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Reading books! Especially, "Mr. Brown Can Moo...Can you?"

Dancing every time she hears music!

Flipping through her mommy's magazines :).

"Coloring" and perusing coloring books!

Carrying around any type of bag like it is a purse...often while pushing her shopping cart. 

Going on wagon rides with her cousin Hunt.

Playing with her alphabet blocks - examines them, hides them, stacks them, and pretty much plays with them all day!

Laughing at her daddy! She LOVES her daddy!

Oh and playing peakaboo!!!

When Marlee is not doing these things, you will likely find her waving and saying "bye-bye", pointing at things excitedly while saying something that sounds like "that", and "mooing" when she sees a cow! 

You may not see her smiling in a stroller when she would rather be walking, while getting her diaper changed, or when we leave her in the church nursery. You also will not find her sleeping all night :).

We are amazed at all Marlee is learning and doing. Recently, her "listening" age jumped four months in just one. Her occupational therapist told us that she has never seen a child make so many improvements in such a short amount of time. In fact, that therapist will start coming monthly instead of weekly just to check up on Marlee. We cannot say enough wonderful things about cochlear implants and the way they have changed Marlee's life in every way - not just hearing- in only 5 months! 

Marlee, you are our joy!

We love watching you grow and learn! 

Thank you for being our happy little girl!

Fun with Playdough

Yesterday, during therapy at MOSD, Marlee helped make play dough. They made all sorts of shapes using cookie cutters. Marlee mimicked an airplane flying and a bunny hopping. She even made noises like Mrs. Nathalie was making with the airplane and the bunny. 

She was engaged and had so much fun! She sat and played for half an hour and was not happy when play time was over.  

Why is it, though, that when we play with play dough at home all she wants to do is eat it?

Maybe it was being buckled into the cute little just-her-size chair. We need one of these at home and the table too! They use these chairs in the two year old class at MOSD. You should see them all buckled in at the table listening to their teacher. It's precious!

Well, whatever the reason for the excellent behavior, I'm onto her now! Next time we play at home,  I will expect nothing less than playing with, not eating, the play dough :).

Ling Sounds

Over the last year, Marlee has had speech therapy in our home once a week. During each session the therapist conducts what is called the Ling Six Sound test.  It is a quick listening test created by Daniel Ling who was a hearing loss "guru".

"The Ling-6 sounds represent various different speech sounds from low to high pitch (frequency). They help to test your child’s hearing and to check they have access to the full range of speech sounds necessary for learning language." This quote came from Cochlear's website.

                                          Here are the ling six sounds: 

These sounds are a good, quick way to test hearing because they are all found within the speech spectrum and span from low to high frequencies.  It is often used as a way to make sure hearing aids or cochlear implants are working correctly. In our case, we first began using the test to see if hearing aids were providing Marlee with any speech sounds. The goal in the Ling 6 test is, of course, to turn to the sound when it is made. Marlee was tested weekly but never turned to any of these sounds consistently with her hearing aids. She turned to "ah" a couple of times, but nothing to indicate she was always hearing that sound. 

After Marlee's implants were activated, we continued the test each week during therapy. Slowly but surely she began turning to some of the sounds. It was SO exciting to see her turn after months of seeing her continue to look strait ahead, not hearing a sound. On January 16th, Marlee turned to ALL of the Ling sounds!!! That's a big deal! Four months earlier she was not hearing any sounds, and now she is hearing even the soft sound of "s". 

The next week during therapy, I videoed the Ling 6 test. We owe a big thank you to our sweet therapist, Miss Elizabeth, for all of her hard work with Marlee!! We love when she comes to see us each week! 

Here are the six, short videos:

                      

So, now that Marlee is turning to these sounds does that mean she's good to go? The answer to that is not at all! Hearing the Ling six sounds is big step that suggests the implants are giving her full access to sound, and now we can start concentrating on all of the complexities that go along with learning to listen and to speak. Listening will never be normal or come naturally to Marlee, but that is why we will continue therapy and she will soon begin going to school five days a week. Turning to these six sounds is one of the first of many miracles we will experience as Marlee progresses through her hearing journey! 

Love is in the air!

We love Valentine's day around here! Well, let me rephrase that...I love Valentine's day and am training Marlee to love it too! Red and pink, hearts, flowers, chocolate - you don't get much better than that. Since I love all things girly and Marlee is sure to follow in my footsteps ;), we, naturally, love this holiday! I should mention that my birthday is the day after Valentine's day, so growing up with heart filled birthday parties also has a little (or a lot) to do with my love of February.

My 11th birthday party!

This year our Valentine festivities began on Thursday, the 13th. I keep my nephew on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, so we had a Valentine's  party with Marlee's first true Valentine, her cousin, Hunt. I stayed up (entirely too late) the night before making a felt heart garland to hang on the mantle to make things feel a little festive.

We colored, made cards, ate heart cookies, and most importantly, made very cute Valentine hats. 

As you can see, Hunt and Marlee were thrilled with the whole paper plate hat idea! 

These two just do what they're told!

But this face says the party was a success!

The fun continued that night at Greg's parent's home with my first birthday celebration of the year!

The next day Marlee and I planned a Valentine lunch date at Swanky's with our Valentine, but first we had to take a few pictures in her cute Valentine's dress. Because you only have so many chances to wear a V-day dress, pictures are necessary to justify buying the dress! Of course, the garland I stayed up half the night making had to be in the pictures as well!

Then we headed to Swanky's because what says Valentine's day more than tacos and cheese dip?!

After that, we had some special Valentines to deliver!

That night, Greg and I went to see a movie. I'd say popcorn after cheese dip is a great way to spend your Valentine's day!

My littlest Valentine <3

Our weekend continued with lots of birthday fun! At my request, Mom, Elisabeth, Hunt, Marlee, and I spent all day shopping! My birthday gift from Greg was tickets to see Wicked at the Orpheum that Saturday night. We actually had reservations to eat at Mesquite Chophouse first, but they overbooked and, sadly, we had to leave before we ate. So it was a (very) quick dinner at Newks instead. A disappointing start, but the play made up for it! I absolutely loved Wicked, and we had really great seats!

Last, but not least, we celebrated with my family on Sunday.

And THAT is a perfect Valentines/birthday weekend!