Happy Hearing Day!

Tomorrow, we will celebrate Marlee's 1st hearing birthday. This time last year, I was filled with excitement and anxiety as we anticipated the long awaited day! I was unsure of what the day as well as Marlee's life after that day would hold. One thing, though, I did know. October 28th, the day the cochlear implants would be turned on, would be Marlee's miracle day.

It was not long until I realized that the miracle did not end on that day. One year later, I can say that I have witnessed miracles each day since. It is difficult to explain the excitement I feel with every new milestone in Marlee's life. From helping her learn to walk, to watching her respond to noise, to hearing her singing in the back seat of the car. My heart leaps with joy over every accomplishment. No small noise she makes or word she says is taken for granted. I can say with confidence that Marlee is able to do these things because of the Lord's work in her life. Without her miracle of hearing, these things would not be possible.

Some days I watch her in school and think, this just isn't fair. Why is my baby having to work so very hard just to learn to listen and talk? Such an easy task for so many, but for Marlee, it is work. I then pray that the hard work will always remind Marlee that her accomplishments are only a result of the Lord's strength and power working in her life. This is true for all of us, but is so easy to forget. I pray that Marlee will always remember and celebrate her miracle day. Not just to celebrate the miracle but to give thanks to the Giver of those miracles.

This morning in church, the pastor said that "God works in miraculous signs and wonders to get people's attention, so they can respond to the truths of the Word of God." I pray that others will see the truths of God's Word through the miracle He has done and is doing in Marlee's life. This is why I can never stop thanking Him or telling others what He has done. It will never become ordinary that my daughter can hear and speak.

"I remember it all, oh how well I remember, the feeling of hitting the bottom...but this I call to mind and have hope...His mercies are new every morning." Lamentations 3

It is through His mercies that He has brought us to this place. I pray for fresh works and continued miracles in Marlee's life that keep our attention on Him and bring glory to Him alone.

Happy 1st hearing birthday, Marlee! What joy you bring to our lives. May you always see your gift of hearing through cochlear implants, not as a hindrance, but as a blessing from The Lord given to you to bring Him honor through your life. 

Oh, how He loves you!!

Marlee's First Day of School

So much has happened since my last blog post before Marlee's first day of school. Our anticipation of that dreaded day continued this summer until the morning of August 12th when I was sure I had no more tears to cry and was as ready as I could be to take Marlee to MOSD. Greg took the day off of work, so we could spend the day in Germantown (as close to Marlee as we could be) together. The best part of the day for me was dressing Marlee in her new school dress and taking pictures.

Marlee the elephant :)

We arrived at MOSD and met Marlee's teacher, Ms. Abby. We stayed in the classroom for a few minutes until Marlee seemed comfortable.

Marlee with her teacher, Ms. Abby.

Right away she found an elephant book that she loved!

When we left her classroom, we slipped into the observation room where we stayed and watched until 10:30 that morning. Marlee did not cry too much the first day, she was just unsure of everything that was going on. We watched as Ms. Abby showed Marlee her cubby and they did a few activities, and then as Ms. Katie came to get her for her first therapy session.

My brave girl walking down the hall to speech therapy with Ms. Katie. 

One of my favorite things about MOSD is that parents are encouraged to stay and observe as much as possible. Observing has given me great insight into what Marlee is doing at school, so I can reinforce the learning at home. Plus, I can not even explain how much fun it is to be a "fly on the wall,"and watch all she does at school!

Marlee did get upset at snack time on that first day because they combined classes and went to Ms. Sue's room next door to eat. It was hard to watch her upset, but soon the Oreos on the school bus snack seemed to make it all better.

Then they went back to Ms. Abby's room to make a school bus craft. 

We watched Marlee in her 2nd therapy session and then left before they went to recess. It was a long day of waiting to go back and pick up my girl. 

The first day was an overall success, but it was a terrible night knowing I had to take my baby back the next day. The thought of my days at home with Marlee suddenly coming to an end was overwhelming. I was desperate for her to be home with me the next morning watching Sesame Street. I also knew the second day would not go as smoothly as the first because Marlee would know what was coming, and I was right. 

She pretty quickly attached to Ms. Abby, but transition times when she had to leave Ms. Abby to go to her therapy sessions were very difficult. There were days when she cried the first hour. Days where she cried through both therapy sessions. Days where she cried through recess. And days where she was teary all day. I stayed and observed as much as possible, and always stayed in Germantown. I did not want to come home to my empty house, and I wanted to be near her. The only way to describe the first three weeks is HARD! 

This is not what I signed up for. My plan as a stay at home mom did not include getting up and driving 45 minutes in rush hour traffic to take my not yet two year old to school every day, observing her in her classroom where she is sometimes happy and sometimes crying, filling my afternoon with errands to stay busy (on the days I'm not working), picking her up, driving back home, unpacking her bag, making her lunch, and doing it all again the next day. 

THIS is real life. This is certainly not my fairy tale of staying home with my baby girl until she is school age. This is overwhelming. This is exhausting.

This is also necessary. I could pull her out of school, have a therapist come to our house once a week, and hope for the best (believe me, I have thought about doing that), but that is not what Marlee needs. Marlee has a disability that does not even have to be a disability after she graduates from MOSD. Marlee needs this school. She needs this school 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. She needs her teachers. She needs her therapists. She needs me to make every sacrifice I can possibly make to ensure she is fully equipped for the rest of her life. 

Sending Marlee to school has been the most difficult part of this journey. Through all of the doctors' visits, bad reports, and a first year of so many uncertainties, Marlee was always right there with me. Everything was going to be ok because I still had my Marlee beside me. This time is different. This time, I have to let her go because being right beside me is not what is best for her. The Lord reminds me that she is not mine to hold on to, she is His. This may not be easy, but this is His plan for Marlee's life. It is His best plan for her life, and He is teaching me to trust Him.