Ready or Not...

Here we go again! 

Marlee has been out of school for the month of June and what a glorious month it has been. We had a great beach trip and have made lots of fun memories. The best part is that Marlee has had lots of time to just play at home and play she has done!!

Tomorrow is the beginning of MOSD's summer session. I have a lump in my throat thinking about getting back into the school routine. Unlike the first day last year, now I know how much Marlee loves school, and I am excited for her to see her friends. She will transition to a new classroom, Ms. Holly's room, but her same friends will be going with her. 

I feel guilty talking, once again, about how much I will miss her. Maybe all of the days she is not at home make me appreciate the days she is even more, but there is absolutely nothing I love more than having her home with me all day. If I let myself think for too long about not having her here, I would cry for days. Instead, I am reminding myself of all of the mom's who have to do this everyday when they go to work. The best thing is to remind myself how much Marlee loves her teachers and friends and how much they love her.

I also remember that at the beginning of last year, I never thought it would be hard for the end of the school year to come but that is exactly what happened. Here is the letter I wrote to her teacher, Abby, thanking her for all she had done for Marlee. 

Dear Abby,

From the time Marlee was only three months old and I knew she would be attending MOSD until August of last year, I dreaded, with all of my heart, the beginning of school. I knew Marlee would eventually love school just as I always have, but the thought of taking my baby, not yet two years old, and leaving her every day was too much. I dreamed my whole life of being a stay at home mom. Being home each day with my little girl was everything I could have hoped for, and it was being taken away too soon. For me, sending Marlee to school, has been the hardest part of this journey. Even through the scariest times in the beginning when Marlee's diagnosis was unclear, she was right with me. Going to school, however, meant that being at home with me was not what was best for her, and that I had to entrust my most precious gift to someone else.

Thank you, Abby, for loving my most precious gift. I could have never dreamed of a better teacher for Marlee or hoped for a better place to send her each day. It was not an easy transition and the first few weeks of school were not without tears (from both Marlee and me), but Marlee loved you instantly. Thank you, for letting her cling to you. Thank you for being her safe place, her lap to sit on - for being her friend. Thank you for expecting her to do big things but for letting her be little.  Thank you so much for letting her be little.

There is a quote in the hallway at MOSD that says "Where there is great love, miracles happen." I have witnessed miracles in Marlee's life every day this year thanks to the love she has received from you and so many others at MOSD.  Never did I imagine that by the end of this year I would be listening to Marlee sing songs for 45 minutes to and from school every day or listening to her talk from the time we get home until she goes to sleep. Rather than crying each morning as she did in the beginning, she now wakes up saying, "I go see Abby." I love when we leave school and she says, "Bye, Abby's home." :)

I could go on and on because I could never thank you enough for loving her, for teaching her, for cheering her on, and for being so genuinely proud of every accomplishment. As happy as I will be to have her home with me for a month this summer, my heart aches that this year is ending. She still has so many things to achieve at MOSD, but this will always be the year that Marlee learned to talk - something some may take for granted, but not us. Every day she talks is a priceless gift that we are forever thankful for. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for playing such a huge role in that gift. And because I just can't tell you enough, thank you, again, for loving our Marlee. 

Tomorrow will be the beginning of a new year of memories with Ms. Holly. I am praying that Marlee will feel as safe, secure, and confident with Holly as she did with Abby. Other than her home, I cannot think of a better place for Marlee than MOSD. Tonight, even with a heavy heart, I am looking forward to all that this new year will hold.